The Stella & Dot ‘X-Factor’ – Part 1

Published on: October 20, 2015
The Stella & Dot 'X-Factor' - Part 1 - stylefish
Believing in yourself

Growing a relationship with such an amazing community of women as the Stella & Dot community has really got me thinking about how I can help you to make a difference in your businesses. Having created my own fashion business and sitting myself down 7 years ago to take that scary decision to actually START, I hope I have learnt a thing or two along the way that I can share that may help you think in a fresh way or just encourage you to go for it and make the most of yourself and this amazing opportunity in fashion!

I have so many things I would like to share so I am going to break down my advice into 4 separate blog posts which I will post over the next few weeks!

1. Believing in yourself.

2. Running a super duper trunk show.

3. Getting more trunk shows.

4. Sharing your fashion know how with others.

So, part one. If there is one thing I have learnt from starting my business, it’s that confidence counts! If you don’t believe in what your doing and what your selling, others never will. Here’s where the disconnect normally happens. You found out about Stella & Dot, you adore the jewels, the company and the people who are behind it (who wouldn’t). So you have box number one ticked. You love it all :-)

This is where the disconnect happens. So often when we actually get into the thing we love, this is when we start to doubt ourselves. ‘Do I have what it takes to run parties?’ ‘Can I put myself out there as a fashion expert?’ etc etc..

That’s the disconnect. Your confidence. Let’s call it the ‘x factor’. Everyone has this x factor. It’s just that some of us like to make our lives harder by burying it deeper inside us so that it ends up screaming to get out and frustrated at a feeling of ‘not being good enough’ or ‘quick enough’ or ‘stylish enough’ or ‘whatever enough’!…

So, todays piece is to encourage you to shine, share and collaborate together as you are the lucky women who get to make money selling something you absolutely love and believe in.

Here are my tops tips to help you bring out your inner x factor.

Build your confidence in your own Style

Sounds obvious but a huge reason I see in stylists being fearful is a fear of what others might think of them and their own style. The question of ‘am I stylish enough to do this?’. The answer is a rosounding yes but you need to believe it. Work on your own style, have a wardrobe you love and understand what suits you and why. Selling & building a network starts with you and your belief in your style. You don’t have to have it perfect to get started but you do have to get started to be perfect (that’s cliche number one out of the way!)

The Stella & Dot 'X-Factor' - Part 1 - stylefish

Bring you into it

If you have more confidence in your style and your image and now that you are selling beautiful jewels – people want to know what you love and why. What do you like to wear? What have you bought from the new season collection? How do you style different pieces. Ultimately people buy from people. They are not buying from Stella & Dot they are buying from you!

These great images came from an amazing American style blogger Katie on ‘Out & Outfitter‘ who also sells Stella & Dot jewellery.

The Stella & Dot 'X-Factor' - Part 1 - stylefish

People buy feelings not things

What makes really successful brands different? They make people ‘feel’ something. Stella & Dot is an amazing brand cultivating an amazing family of fashion lovers. You bought into the brand because they were about much more than just a product. They give you the chance to do something you love and be part of something special. You are creating the exact same feeling when you sell your jewels. How do you feel when you wear the jewels, how much do you love them, how versatile are they, how many compliments do you get? Tell me about the people who make the jewels and how passionate they are about the customer? These are the things you are selling!

Realise that your ideas are good

Every stylist that sells Stella & Dot will be different in their goals, ambitions and their style. Embrace difference and realise that your ideas for getting customers, talking to customers, building a business is going to be different to others. Be you and follow that very powerful intuition us ladies have been blessed with as it will rarely lead you astray once you embrace the confident you!

The Stella & Dot 'X-Factor' - Part 1 - stylefish

Visualise Success

Now I am not one for spending half the day with my eyes closed but I do believe in the power of visualization. If you can’t see what you want to happen, how are you supposed to create a path to get you there? I remember creating a vision board when I started Stylefish and on it I had ‘get on Dragons Den’. Everyone laughed at the time (including me!). Two years later I was waking up the steps into the den. Although it seemed crazy at the time, I know if I had a smaller goal that would be what my mind focused on.

Collect the good times & celebrate them

Do you celebrate more of the losses than the wins? Turn that around right now. Our bodies are programmed to let the losses drag us down but we need many more wins to help us back up! It is much easier to say ‘I can’t’ than ‘I can’. You need to train yourself to do this! Grab on to all the positive things that happen everyday around your business and the great testimonials you receive about your jewellery and allow them to encourage and motivate you.

The Stella & Dot 'X-Factor' - Part 1 - Stylefish

Let your body do the talking!

Roughly 55% of that which we communicate is through our body language. What we say only accounts for about 7%! When we become aware of our body language, we can take action to make sure that it is working for us and not against us.

Make it count:

* Your Posture.

* Eye contact.

* A Solid Hand Shake (or hug!).

* A smile.

* A genuine interest in other people and things.

The Stella & Dot 'X-Factor' - Part 1 - stylefishSmile more

Smiling makes people happy. Happiness makes people relaxed. Relaxed means people open up to and trust you more. Plus you start enjoying your business more! Most of us think we smile a lot, but do we really? Do you really smile enough? People who smile are also perceived as more confident. The other saying ‘fake it, till you make it’ also applies here!

The Stella & Dot 'X-Factor' - Part 1 - stylefish

Stop looking at others & starting looking at you!

It can be tempting to start comparing yourself to others (especially when you are part of a community of others doing the same thing) and hence to start feeling like your not doing enough or your not good enough to do more! What a load of absolute nonsense :-) Sit down with a big cup of coffee and a blank piece of paper and write down 5 reasons you are involved with Stella & Dot. Got them? Good. Next, on another piece of paper write down your OWN goals between now and Christmas. Make them simple, achievable and exciting for YOURSELF! If it was me I would say things like:

* Share my business (and brochures) with 5 new people I meet (at the school gates, coffee mornings, friends of friends etc).

* Collect 5 new email addresses who have expressed an interest in holding a trunk show in 2016.

* Run 2 trunk shows.

* Start giving back. Collect some good fashion news and share via newsletter to my email contacts.

The Stella & Dot 'X-Factor' - Part 1 - stylefish

Enjoy what you do

I know as much as anyone that when you are trying to make money doing something the love can have a habit of fading behind the problems. Don’t let it. Remind yourself often of why you started, what you love and focus on bringing more love into your business. This is something Stella & Dot does with abundance but you must learn to also do this for yourself!

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the question, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”

John Lennon

I hope this has been helpful. Part two –  Running a super duper trunk show will be next one…soon. If any of you would like to have a one to one chat I am more than happy to arrange. You can reach me at

Julie x





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